tuckerd-out

Infidelity

2012-01-18T16:32:00.000-06:00

I wonder what would cause a spouse to get so caught up in themselves or someone else that they would cheat. Is it easy? A good friend of mine is cheating on his wife. She is the last person to know. I am not supposed to know. I know this makes me less than a good friend. I should tell but I know the marriage won't survive it if I tell and there is a small chance it will survive if I don't and there are children involved. Is it the newness that is tempting. The back and forth flutters of excitement when the chase is on?

Cheating really is a complex matter. In the blink of an eye you can throw away a lifetime of happiness, achievement, wholeness. I understand that life is difficult. I understand (trust me I do) that the details of each day can be overwhelming, the complexities of which are compounded by life, work, children, school. It is not fun to be responsible, it can be but mostly it is just burdensome.

I understand also that there is temptation-in newness, in adventure, in other people to hear you or care for you. Temptation to rid oneself of the responsibilities of being involved, present, of cooking dinner, and giving baths and putting kids to bed. Temptation to return to a single life with no one to answer to-just fun and frivolity to be had. The problem lies in the other end of the agreement. The one left at home to bear all of the reponsibilty for the offending parties selfishness. The one left to explain things. To tidy things up.

I would love to go back and not know that he is cheating. That he has pissed away seven years of friendship.

8 Years Later

2012-01-17T12:23:00.001-06:00

I have been doing this stay at home mom thing for quite some time now. In and out of days, months, and years I am sad to report that there have not been a whole lot of epic moments. There have been stellar days where the sun has been shining, the pool warm, and the kids cooperative but nothing that stands out to say these have been the best days of my life. That is not to say it has been terrible just to say that time continues to march on and the change seems marked only by the growth of my children.

Luke is two now- I have finally started taking him out into the world. To the zoo, children's museum etc. nothing changes and I have the narrator or voice from sponge bob in my head 8 YEARS LATER. How can I still be here with these crazies at the water table at the children's museum? How can I still be surrounded by lunatics at shark touch tank? Why do these people bring their kids to do art projects if they won't let them get messy? 8 YEARS LATER

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2011-11-16T22:45:00.001-06:00

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Location:Pebblepointe Pass,Zionsville,United States

2011-11-14T13:06:00.001-06:00

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Oral Surgery Sucks

2011-11-09T07:34:00.001-06:00

Just in case you were all wondering. It sucks to have your gums ripped up and you jaw drilled through. I am sure in two weeks I willfeel better anbout the situation. Absolutely sure of it! I have terrible teeth. I wish this wasn't the case but it is. Part genetic, part sucky childhood, part my fault, part yuck. Anyhow. Paul is gone for the week and on Monday I had an apicoectomy-feel free to google it. Now I look like a chipmunk-but the vicodin and antibiotics have been affording me some pretty decent sleep. I cannot take the vicodin until night because I still have to get my kiddos where they need to be this week and driving and vicodin for me-just don't mix. But lucky for me ibuprofen works pretty well for me. Anywhoo more later about the teeth issue. It is going to be a diatribe. Feel free not to read. Because I knnow sometimes this crap that I write about me can be pretty boring. (to all four of you that read my blog)

Happy birthday Luke

2011-11-06T20:22:00.001-06:00

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Happy 4th Birthday Joseph

2011-10-30T08:46:00.001-05:00

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2011-10-12T09:46:00.001-05:00

I was motivated to run theChicago Marathon when my neighbor, Mandy Keller, who I barely knew wrote thefollowing on my FaceBook Wall –“Do you want to run the Chicago Marathon withMe?” I responded “Sure” but even two weeks out I am still not sure of mycommitment level. Honestly, how committed does a casual FaceBook reply to awall comment make a person? However, I have been up at 5:30AM and earlier totrain most days before the rest of my family even thinks about getting out ofbed. I only have one goal to finish. If I could be picky I’d like to finishbeside my running buddies who have made 20 mile training runs a possibilitywith endless chatter about who knows what to pass the miles by.

Inspiration can sometimes behard to come by for a cynic like me. But I found myself on the couch afterhaving my third child, eating potato chips and giving up on myself one crunchat a time. I was becoming my mother who died of heart complications due to asedentary lifestyle 8 years ago. An odd source of motivation-what you seek notto become, lazy, complacent. Would that my mom would have had a friend to saycome on’ join me-it will be fun.

I run for me-for adultconversation and sanity-I run to be outside in running tights when everyoneelse is wearing a down coat-I run for me but I am glad for the example it setsfor my children-to know that anything is possible with training and hardwork-even if there are bumps in the road. I run for my sister who hasstarted working out and is putting one foot in front of the other. I run sothat my friends will not have to run by themselves. I run for me but in the oftstillness that comes over miles and miles of pavement-I think about myparents-Rich and Alice who died before they met my children. I think about mygood friend Marilyn, who also met an untimely death. I think about all of thelove they had to give and imagine them cheering me on in the way that only theycould. Way to go Laur! My mom would say-so proud to be watching and cheering meon in the city she grew up in. I think about all of the people running for allof their own reasons, AIDS, Breast Cancer, Poverty and I count my blessings.Because I am alive and I am about to run the 2011 Bank of Chicago Marathon. Howdo you like them apples?

I would say that together,my friends and I have had many marathon moments-most of which involve a storyhere or there that is way too long to explain in a simple essay. Stories thatinvolve a love hate relationship with chipped beef but really have no relevanceoutside of an inside joke of 5 girls running countless miles. Our truest momentwill come if all of us cross that finish line together

When I am running and afterI have tried my best to keep up my end of the conversation with my runningfriends-my thoughts turn inward to the people in my life who have given me themost support. My biggest fans. My husband, Paul, my children, Molly (7), Joseph(3), Luke (1) and my sister Ellen. Paul has allowed me the freedom to run 20mile training runs and then sneak in a nap-not an easy feat with three kids andwork and soccer schedules! My kids have given me atta girls and all the hugsand kisses it takes to sooth a tired runner’s soul. It is difficult to run-itis difficult to run a marathon without the support of your family. I am sothankful and grateful to have mine. Their good humor, nature and flexibility isa treasure.

I’m relatively sure I haveinspired people to look at a marathon entry form and run as far as they can inthe other direction. Blistered, puss-filled toes have that affect on thementally sane. But if I have inspired anybody I sincerely hope that the messagewould be to put one foot in front of the other with best attitude and spirityou can muster. I’ll be out there putting one foot in fromt of the other.

Chicago Marathon-Check

2011-10-12T09:19:00.001-05:00

Finisher. It was a sweet ride not without difficulty but this girl finished the Chicago Marathon.

The first Thank You goes to Mandy Keller who asked me via Facebook if I wanted to run the Chicago Marathon. She had no reason to include me in her group of running friends that day-but she did and I will forever be grateful. She was the glue that held us together.

Second Thank You to the rest of my running buddies-Kelly (a two time Chicago Marathon Finisher and one tough cookie) Sherri (always providing a running commentary and keeping us on our toes) Jenni (forever with a sweet and positive outllook that makes me wish I wasn't so mean) and Kristina (who though injured herself-helped me stay in the running by cross training with me through my limping). Thanks to my running ladies. I appreciate the long moonlit morning runs and the fun we had inside and outside of running. It is funny the things you will talk about when you are passing twenty miles together. And sometimes not so funny.

Third Thank You to Dr. Christine Ermel-I thouught you were just torturing me-but really you knew what you were doing. Much appreciated-I was really grumpy when I wasn't running and though my hips are forever tight and my hamstring temperamental-I felt great on race day.

Fourth Thank You goes to Paul-who gave up some of his own schedule and exercise to let me get back on track. He made it to so many stops along the marathon route. You cannot know how good it feels to see the one you love after 18 miles of running. There with a smile and concern, a sign or ten and some Body Glide and GU. Much love to Paul, Luke and Mike-God love you for making all of that happen that day. I know it wasn't easy.

Fifth Thank You to Ellen, Lauren, Sean, and Matt. Knowing that my kids were safe, well-cared for loved and where they needed to be (which included three soccer games, religous Ed, school and preschool) made my weekend so enjoyable.

Sixth Thanks you to Molly Joseph and Luke-who have given up having both parents around on weekend mornings and have been woken up at odd times so we could fit in runs and half marathons and other assorted crazy shit. Thanks for being true fans and for all of your encouragement. Most of all thanks for the homecoming greetings.Luke never hugged me so much or so hard than when I came home on Monday and he was the epitomy of what I needed-even if he didn't know it. Molly and Joseph gave me spectacular greetings also. Molly running from school and jumping on me to say hello. I am not often away from them and I missed them so.

Seventh Thanks to my friends who don't run who have squeezed my schedule into thier lives the last several months. Great supporters nonetheless. I really appreciate it.

Funny-it really hadn't been on my list of things to do and did not become really important to me until I started training for it. There are a thousand different emtions I feel about it. First-I was so glad to be there to begin with. In July and August I was injured and didn't even know if I would start the marathon let alone finish it. I was limping and could barely even chase Luke down the street. A little Active Release (ok a lot) fixed me up and I was back running by early September and up to good mileage with six weeks to go.

The race itself was surreal-SO MANY PEOPLE all running. It was loud-the crowd was soo loud. Lots of Cowbells lots of signs. I really appreciated the signs! and god bless the people who took the time to make them and help the time pass with spirit. Our group had shirts made up and they were a big hit. Lots of people telling us they love our shirts! Our names were on the front so we had a ton of people we never met cheering us on by name. SO nice. The crowd is what made me emotional. I thought I would cry at the finish maybe or when I met up with Paul. But what really tugs at my heart is the goodness of the people who surrounded me that day, in my life, but also total strangers. Spectacular really. So many people out to support thier runners. Many with signs. Worst Parade Ever-Run Total Stranger Run-Running Feels Bad-Bourbon feels Good-Go Momma Go-Run Like Luke is Chasing You. I crossed the finish line with three others in my group. At the finish I was happy to finish but so concerned about my buddy who was behind me. That uncertaintay sucked. After you finish the marathon you have to walk and walk and walk to get to the post race reunion area. It is crowded and the people and closed streets make it difficult for spectators to get to runners. It took a good long time to meet up with the rest of the crew. When we got to the appointed spot we were very lucky that our friend Kristina was there to manage getting everybody else there. Thanks Kristina. Note to self. Tell your husband where you will meet him after a marathon. When I got to Kristina-she had news that Mandy and Phil had finished 4 min behind us! Instant relief and commenced greater enjoyment of the Chicago Marathon Finisher experience.

Couple of Notes
It is totally worth doing whatever you have to do to have a member upgrade from BOA or whatever sponsor of whatever marathon offers you your own private Port-O-Lets. We lucked out and wandered in without knowing it but took full advantage of the providence provided.

Make sure you tell your race support folks where you will be at the end of the marathon.

Evidently it is not ok to share body glide during training but totally acceptable during a marathon. Who knew?
If you are running with several other folks-you may get seperated in chinatown where there are more crowds cheeriing on the street than actual runners (and there were still a ton of actual runners).

You might dry heave at mile 18 if you drink too much gatorade

When peeing in an Alley make sure you are "upstream" from your neighbors

If you are shielding your friend who's but is on a tree while she is trying to pee discreetly in the middle of the city packed with runners. Try to pick the spot upwind.

That heat blanket they give youa t the end of the race will not cool you off no matter what side you put it on.

Do not drink the gatorade recovery drink-If you could not puke at mile 18 the recovery drink will make you puke at mile 27.

Be prepared to do 30 miles when all is said and done. Between getting to the start and the post race party and the hotel and dodging and weaving. I am sure that is a more accurate total

Chicago will blow you away. What a great ride.

Long Run

2011-09-18T10:17:00.001-05:00

I ran 20 miles yesterday! Longest I have ever run. In 3:28. Not bad. I'm ecstatic to have completed it relatively pain free. In July I was limping from an injury to my hips an IT band so I'm very happy to be here. I had missed a lot of training but got in some of the significant runs. 10-12-19-12-20. Next week is 12-then 8 then 1. Finally feeling like Chicago will be a reality in Oct 9! Fingers crossed.

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100 Acres

2011-09-03T22:49:00.001-05:00

Molly has been in school so it has been just the boys and I. We went with friends to hundred acres (IMA's sculpture park) It was so nice to let Joseph and Luke run around in the woods- play on the sculptures and have a grand old time. This particar outing was great because Luke stayed with me and did not run off. Made me realize how much some of his antics have eased up! Life is getting ever so slightly easier as Luke approaches 2. He isn't sitting in our kitchen drawers as much- Nor is he sitting on our kitchen table as much. He isn't throwing things in or playing in the toilet anymore. He can climb steps with ease. He knows the stove is hot. If he gets through the door he does not immediately take off to the pond. He will sit in the bathtub now. No more baby food or special food needs. He mostly sleeps through the night. He can walk, run, hop, and shuffle on his balance bike. And he is talking. You can ask him if he wants milk or water and he will tell you. So nice to be almost two!

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2011-08-18T13:16:00.000-05:00

Summer 2011

2011-08-18T10:03:00.000-05:00

Summer 2011 seems to have passed us by. We enjoyed our time inside and at the pool during the heat wave that had temps hovering at 95 or above for weeks on end. Paul worked and worked and worked some more and we will see if his trial in the Fall comes to fruition. We thought maybe we might go on vacation or up to Michigan or to Kings Isalnd BUT all of those things are hard to do without both parents. Maybe next year. Still we had fun going to the pool and the park and to get slush puppies and hanging out with some of our favorite friends old and new.

Back to School

2011-08-18T09:54:00.000-05:00

Molly started second grade on Monday. Hard to believe. She is seven and is in class with many friends old and new. Rumor has it her teacher is pretty tough. We shall see. Molly was a wreck with anxiety the week before school but seems to be fairing quite well. I think her biggest problem will be the girl drama and bullying that goes on at Stonegate. People don't have real problems so we manufacture some:0) Just kidding-sort of. Joseph goes to school in September and then it will be just Luke and I for three days a week. I am ready for the return of daylight grocery shopping hours.

A few notes about Molly as she starts school. She is one of the tallest kids in her grade. Lean strong and muscular. Happy as a lark-usually-and can hold a conversation better than most adults. Molly is a boon companion. Quick to tears though if she does not get her way at home.

2011-07-25T13:01:00.000-05:00

2011-06-24T23:11:00.001-05:00

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Happy Father's Day

2011-06-20T07:32:00.001-05:00

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2011-06-09T20:49:00.001-05:00

Lukie is giving hugs these days- Molly is loving it. I love love love the joy on her face. Would that they could always love the chother- that would be stupendous.

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500 Parade

2011-06-07T21:46:00.001-05:00

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2011-06-07T21:37:00.001-05:00

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Schools out for summer

2011-06-07T21:33:00.001-05:00

I made these cute cupcakes again for the last day of school pool party! They were Vanilla extreme with buttercream and chocolatey chocolate with buttercream- Yum!

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Last Day of School

2011-06-07T21:29:00.001-05:00

Molly had her last day of first grade today. She cried last night because she is going to miss her teacher over the summer and next year. What a great experience she had this year. Paul and I could not have picked a more capable, kind, loving person to shape our daughter.

In addition to a perfect attendance award Molly recieved a music award at the honors convocation. I am not sure what the criteria is but I am so happy for her. So she has surpassed me at the ripe age of seven. I never once had perfect attendance and I certainly never achieved anything in music, Congrats Molly and to borrow a phrase from Joseph- I love you three trillion.

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2011-03-30T14:54:00.001-05:00

Gulf Shores 2011
This place is pretty empty for spring break. A few tarballs on the beach. Signs etc but nothing too bad that should deter most people. Sad story here. I feel bad for the mom and pop places that depend on these busy weeks to stay afloat. First Ivan then Katrina and Now the BP oil spill. Nevertheless we are having a great time. Gulf Shore Beaches are open for business.

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On the road again

2011-03-26T14:58:00.001-05:00

It has been quite some time since We have taken a road trip. Spring break has broken and we are on our journey to Gulf Shores Alabama. With a stop at cracker barrell in new Albany ( which still has a smoking section) an overnight in Huntsville and a trip to the Us Space and Rocket Center we are about 3 hours from enjoying a week on th beach. God willing it will be warm and dry but we may just have to settle for warm:0) that's ok by me since we will all be together.

I loved seeing Josephs face when he saw the huge rockets. It was interesting to return to a place from my youth! More later.

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Happy 7th Birthday Molly

2011-03-09T08:52:00.001-06:00

Good Golly Molly is seven! Where does the time go? The girlie wanted an American Girl dol Kanani for her birthday and a Hello Kitty cake. I know it won't be long before all she wants is a phone or an ipad. Also requested were mini ice cream bombs. Can't wait to eat them after our dinner at Puerto Vallarta ( where else would we go?) Happy Birthday Baby- I love you.

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Joseph is Funny

2011-02-17T12:19:00.001-06:00

He often says that the milk he drinks makes mushrooms in his belly. He also thinks he has fruit loops and sticks in his ears. He thinks most trucks are Peterbuilts. He is a funny happy little boy.

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Lukey

2011-02-17T12:15:00.001-06:00

Luke is weaned as of Jan- Joseph is potty training and we are finally rounding the corner here in babyland. There are a million milestones to go but these are big ones.

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Almost Potty Trained

2011-02-17T12:11:00.001-06:00

I'm so happy I could cry. Joseph is potty trained while naked so clothed potty trained can't be far behind. I have been attempting pt with him for a long time. Finally at 3 years and 3 months he is ready. Do you think it is too soon to train Luke?

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All in a day

2011-02-10T12:43:00.001-06:00

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Congrats to my friend grandma Li Li on the birth of her granddaughter- may your days be as wondrous as mine my good friend.
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2011-02-09T12:12:00.001-06:00

Today marks the 11th year that my mother in law Marilyn has been dead. That is really hard to imagine. A lifetime ago really. I could write for an hour about the days, weeks, months and years that have passed and the impact her passing has had on them. I'll spare myself the details because they really don't matter right now.

There are very few people in my day to day life who knew her. If they had they would know the deep sadness that comes from realizing she is not part of world anymore. I think the closest I can come to describing her is to point toward Molly. Molly is a pretty good personification I suppose.

I miss her terribly and wish I had a chance to say goodbye. I wish she was her to see my children and to have watched Paul's various successes.

Thus ends the stretch of death anniversaries for the year. I mean this in a morbidly comicalsort of way that I am sure nobody understands. But it's my blog.
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2011-01-24T23:24:00.001-06:00

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2011-01-24T12:05:00.001-06:00

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Dreams

2011-01-24T12:04:00.001-06:00

I had a dream last night and my parents were in it. It wasn't a long dream but I appreciated it so. My mom was in the dream briefly and in it I had the easygoing feeling you have when you interact with people who have known you for a lifetime. Not that those relationships aren't complicated. My father was in the dream at greater length.I don't dream about dead people very often but was happy to have a visit. It has been so long I have forgotten the warmth of a father's glance and the soothing words- a gift of a life that was met with struggle but always a smile and a bit of perserverance. I am sure that sounds a little creepy- I don't really know how to explain it- or where else to go with this post so I'll leave it at that.

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2011-01-19T21:28:00.001-06:00

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Sunset Key

2011-01-19T21:25:00.001-06:00

Paul and I went to Key West last weekend without kids. My sister and niece watched the crazies at our house. Thier kindness has saved my sanity. At least for a little while.

We stayed on Sunset Key a little Island off of key west acessible by a ferry boat. Very lovely. We watched sunrises and sunsets. Ate dinner at a liesurely place and hadn't a care in the world. Paul worked on an oral argument- I read a book in the hammock. Visited Hemmingway's house. Ate breakfast with some roosters. Spotted a dolphin in the harbor. Sat in the hottub in the rain and had an altogether awesome time.

2011-01-19T20:53:00.001-06:00

Happy Valentines Day!

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2010-12-07T23:10:00.001-06:00

Missing my parents right now. I hate this particular week in December. These dates remind me of sitting in a hospital room waiting for my mother to die-day after day and mostly by myself. Today Elizabeth Edwards died- Her writings clue in to a remarkable resilient spirit. In all that she faced she still knew how to do and say the right things. All of our days are numbered-her words are so true. Tonight I was tucking Molly into bed and by that I mean laying down with her talking, giggling, crying and trying not to fall asleep. Our days are indeed numbered but whenever she asks me in the quiet of the night if I am going to die-I say no- because the truth right here-right now serves no good purpose. Her attention turns the to whether or not one can live forever? And when theworld is going to end. And what will be next because first we had dinosaurs and now we have people etc. And her mind wanders in and out of the great mysteries of life. These kids-especially Molly have been my salvation. I have invested a great deal in them and it is soo cool to see the people they are becoming. I can only hope that my folks would have thought the same could they be here.

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2010-12-03T19:54:00.001-06:00

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2010-12-02T20:39:00.001-06:00

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Fruit Loops and Sticks

2010-11-18T22:09:00.001-06:00

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Life for the last two years has been quite hectic. I have been remiss in recording lots of memories about both Molly and Joseph. Luke doesn't even have a baby book yet. I am derelict in my duties.

While cleaning Joseph's ears I asked him what was in his ears-he said Fruit Loops and sticks. He laughed with abandon and thinks it's funny now every single time. He is so cute and so funny. He was asking Molly this morning if she thought the moon could hear him when he said good morning. Too cute. He is kind and sensitive and does not like to get in trouble. At the same time he is all boy and doesn't mind pushing and shoving and taking. He runs jumps and plays all day long. When Joe begins to run he lifts his leg up a little kind of like the roadrunner-I love it.

Luke is 1

2010-11-15T20:53:00.001-06:00

Luke is officially one. We had poundcake to celebrate! We did not have a big party but celebrated quietly with our little family!

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Halloween

2010-11-15T20:48:00.001-06:00

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Joseph turns 3

2010-11-15T20:44:00.001-06:00

Joe turned 3. For his birthday I took him to Carter's toy Museum and ZooBoo followed by dinner at Nick's Chili and Ice Cream at The General Store. We had a party on Halloween to continue the Celebration.Molly was a vampire. Joseph was Buzz Lightyear and Luke was Woody. They had a great time trick or treating in Stonegate.

Joseph-as he turns three is a sweet boy. At the same time he is rough and tumble. He loves books and dinosaurs and and is pretty mild mannered. I love him so.

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Location:W Deerfield Dr,Whitestown,United States

2010-10-20T22:36:00.001-05:00

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Falling for Fall

2010-10-14T21:52:00.001-05:00

The fall color is beautiful right now in central Indiana. Gorgeous reds and oranges. Perfect time to get out and enjoy the weather even if it is a touch hot for October.

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Missing Molly

2010-09-16T11:45:00.001-05:00

Molly is in school all day now and I really miss her. Up until last month I shared verynearly every single day. Meal. Moment. Now I see her for only a few hours if I am lucky. Sigh-I know it is a part of growing up- for both of us:@)

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Lost Teeth

2010-09-14T12:26:00.001-05:00

Molly lost her 5th tooth on Sat. On Sunday she proclaimedher disbelief in the tooth fairy-citing the relevancy of Tinker Bell. When pressed about who has been leaving her money for her teeth she stated unequivically- Santa Clause. God I love that kid. She crawled into bed with me yesterday. Simply saying -Mom-I love you. Sigh. These are the salad days.

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Bye bye blue house

2010-09-14T12:18:00.001-05:00

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Richard Tucker

2010-08-28T09:46:00.002-05:00

Richard Henry Tucker and Daniel Barenboim

Bat Shit Crazy

2010-08-28T07:38:00.001-05:00

On Thursday I called Paul at work on several occasions. I wanted him to pick something up for me on his way home. When he answered the phone he said-I am okay. I thought that was just peachy but had no clue what he was talking about. Apparently a man was shooting from the parking garage Paul parks in into the B&T building (where Paul works). When the cops showed up he put a bullet in his head and fell eight stories. Selfishly for me all I could think of was getting Paul home so I could get to a meeting and host good friends Sheila Lisa and Marilyn. So I arranged a ride home for him (aren't I nice?) I got to the meeting a little late but that was of little consequence.

Anyhow. The gunman turned out to to be the husband of a partner at Paul's firm. The partner had just quit one or two weeks prior to go in house to Cummins. He strangled her in their home prior to coming downtown to take aim at some folks who he felt had contributed to the dissolution of his marriage.

So sad. He left behind a son in college and a daughter with special needs in high school. My heart aches for them. I am sure that the weight of the world is on their shoulders. Which of course is too heavy a burden for any 20 year old man.

The details of the event have brought about many discussions in my circle of friends-most of whom are not familiar with the way things are at big city law firms. For anyone, let alone a woman to succeed at such a place puts a tremendous amount of pressure on marriage and family. Not that family life can be managed, finagled, or otherwise accommodated with a modicum of success. It can be-but that success is entirely dependent on the other entities of the family doing the juggling, managing, finagling. It hits a chord. Add drinking and infidelity (common traits for lawyers-though not restricted to their ilk, and their spouses) and one can see where the pressure points break down. Granted usually the pressure point ends with the dissolution of marriage and not life-but let this be a lesson.

Not to worry. I love Paul and have fewer of the above issues than most spouses in big law firm life. Not to mention-I am after the insurance money. There will be no divorce-no strangling-no shooting-no revenge. Just a tragic accident where the breaks get stuck-er I mean fail.

First Grade Molly

2010-08-23T21:02:00.000-05:00

Molly started first grade a week ago. She had zero anxiety about it and seems to be loving it. She usually discusses lunch and recess as though they are the most important part of the day/ So far we have packed he lunch every day (and by we I mean me). If you looked at the school lunch menu you would see why. It sounds gross I can only imagine how it looks. One day lists "cook's choice". Thanks so much for that information-now I can plan my child's day (don't you love the dripping sarcasm?) Anyhow. Molly's teacher is very impressive-to me anyway-but what do I know-I am still a novice at this parenting thing. Maybe by the time Luke is in first grade I will have my shit together (doubtful-though maybe). Anyhow. The reason Molly's teacher impresses me is mostly so far for her superior organizational skills and ability to set the mayor at ease prior to her stepping one foot in the classroom. The mayor of course being Molly. Since she knows everyone we have decided to call her the mayor. Mayor Molly-ha a nice ring to it.

First day of school included riding her bike to school and coming home to cupcakes and a nice sign in the driveway. I'll include some pictures when I am not so lazy. Right now I just cannot be bothered.

Summer Fun

2010-08-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

School starts for Molly on Monday. So we have been kind of crazy fitting in end of summer activities. We took a trip to Holiday World. I took the kids to see my friend and then went to Lake Michigan (Indiana Dunes) For the day. I think Joe and Molly had fun in all of this. Luke to but he is happy wherever my boobs are so I don't put to much stock in his adventures.

I say think because while there are glimpses of fun in all of this for me it is mostly just work. Packing unpacking, planning, changing direction when things aren't quite right. I definitely want Molly to get to experience fun things as a six year old and not have to wait until it is easier when her brothers grow up a little bit. I think though that some fun comes at the expense of my sanity.

I try not to wish time away-but I will be excited when Joseph and Luke are potty trained and done with most things baby. That said Luke is super cute and I am the center of his life right now. (that is hard to beat)

I digress. Two more weekdays of summer vacation.

Molly-Molls-Molly Moo-Molly Mooscious

2010-07-26T21:40:00.001-05:00

Good Lord I love that girl. I love the boys too. Molly is such a remarkable sweet polite young lady. She is not without her faults but man alive does she impress the holy heck out of me sometimes. She is growing up quite nicely. Molly has three weeks of summer vacation until first grade. School All day everyday. BRING IT! She is reading up a storm and writing fairly well and I think she is just going to love first grade. We shall make the most of the last three weeks of summer though. Fear not. We have a wedding :o) a trip with cousins to Holiday World, a trip to the Lake Michigan beach with friends. Possibly a visit to chicago if I get off my ass and call Amanda and Joe. And that will about d it. I'd like to take her frogging one of these nights but I'm not sure if I'll have the stamina.

Molly says most of her words correctly. The few she does not she continues to say in her own way. Such as marshlellow and the chother (each other). She's funny that way.

She got her ears pierced this week (no tears) and lost her third and fourth tooth. (Top center) She has leaned up from all the swimming and gymnastics. Her soccer season starts soon. I know fall is right around the corner but we will savor summer as long as we can.

Joseph won't stop growing

2010-07-26T21:28:00.001-05:00

I swear he just keeps getting older and taller with each passing day. He has a big boy bunk bed now. Has some trouble staying in his big boy bunk bed but overall has done really well. He will be in the 2's preschool class at Bethel again this fall and is cuter than cute (I am aware of my bias).

Joseph is all boy and would if he could run every where. Because-why walk if you can run-why step if you can jump. Why amble if you can hop.

Anyhow Joe has done remarkably well navigating this new world with Luke. He loves too give Luke his pacifier and be a good big brother. He is mostly sweet and very kind to Luke. Except when he tries to push Luke over for no reason at all. He says the funniest thing (it is the age) but cute and funny none the less. Joe excels at modern dance and love to listen to "Move IT" and Just dance and right round. What can I say? He also can be caught singing that annoying song by J****n B****r. Baby Baby Baby oh. Which makes me want to puke in my mouth but still funny. He gives good great hugs and says mom I missed you even if I have only been gone for a second. He loves to drink coffee and sparkling water. He pronounces Molly's name as Moll LAY-sounding like a southern gentlemen or Hannibel Lecter (take your pick) V's are B's such as Hab (have) and L's are W's such as You can hab it Wukey (Luke)
Ahhh-the days drag on but the years fly by.

He says
You sit my lap
and asks if trees poop? and elephants etc? Yes Joe Elephants poop.
He is a sweet sweet boy!

Luke

2010-07-26T20:35:00.000-05:00

Luke slept through the night last night. From 7 AM-7 PM. It has been a long 8 1/2 months but I finally feel that we are making progress. He is also finished taking bentyl for colic and prilosec for reflux. We did not refill his prescriptions. He also seems to be spitting up a lot less. Finally and just with the last two weeks. Used to be he would spit up copious amounts of everything. Now I would say he is at an age appropriate level for spit up.

Luke will be nine months soon. He is sprouting his first teeth. (The bottom front). He is standing on his own for a minute at a time and trying like hell to keep up with Molly and Joe. He is a cuddler and cute as a button. Sigh-On most days I am glad he is older but I can't help but feel a little sad that he is my last little snuggle bug. A few more days of sleep and soon all will be right with my world again. Dear God please let this be the beginning of him sleeping like a normal child.

Luke has had us at our wits end at times. Most of the frustrating things have dissolved-but I feel a little PTSD from all of it. Kind of like Molly's stage of clinginess.

Random

2010-07-15T20:53:00.001-05:00

Sucks

2010-06-14T21:30:00.001-05:00

Some days have just sucked lately! Not like somebody died sucked. But none the less sucked. People- by and large- just suck. I am sure I will look at this post someday and applaud my outstanding vocabulary but sheesh. People suck.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Vacation

2010-06-05T10:14:00.000-05:00

We took a vacation to Hilton Head a few weeks ago and it was the nicest time we have had as a family in a long time. We went with the purpose of attending a friends wedding but had a really nice time all week long. We had perfect weather and the children were very well behaved! Now, Paul does not prefer the beach but there is no other place I would rather be. We stayed at the Disney Hilton Head Resort-that made life easy once we got there. We had a two bedroom suite with a kitchen, two balconies, a mud room, and a washer and dryer. The beach was a mile away and there was a pool at both locations. We rented chairs at the beach so one of us could always sit with Luke. He was a champ. He didn't sleep much (never does) but he traveled well.

Easter 2010

2010-04-07T16:56:00.003-05:00

Joseph

2010-04-05T20:59:00.000-05:00

Joseph cracks me up. Overnight his language has developed and the older sister influences are painfully evident. He has started saying -hi my name is Joseph. AND MMMM dewishus and awesome. He loves Giwaffes and other animals. He walks around the house saying I'm a tiger and then roars. Joseph is loud and very typically 2 1/2 meaning he is obstinate and loud. He won't pedal his little tricycle but uses his feet like fred flintstone. He has Paul's eyes that twinkle with mischief and humor. I feel sorry for his future teachers-he's going to get in and out of a lot of trouble.

Behind

2010-03-28T13:35:00.001-05:00

I am sooo far behind in my blogging but- The house is quiet with only the baby and I home so here is my opportunity to play catch up.

Molly had a birthday. The big ol' number six. As sometimes happens it is almost a month later and we still owe her her bday present. tsk tsk we will get there. She celebrated by having a gymnastics party and dinner at Puerto Vallarta!

Luke is still a hot mess. He is doing better now that he is on Prilosec and Bentyl. As much as I would love to have a kid that sleeps-it is not this one. He learned to roll over this week and loves to show off his new trick. Look out world here come baby Lukey.

Joseph is still a crazy little boy with new obsessions every day. He lives to bounce in the bouncehouse or anywhere for that matter. His latest craze is team umi zoomi. he also likes to hurt people so that he can ask them if they ARE OK? sigh.

Luke Francis

2010-02-24T15:39:00.002-06:00

Is a hot mess. What is it with my kids and puking? I took Luke to the Dr. on Monday because he has been exhibiting signs of reflux and has been very colicky and it is getting worse-not better. I usually do not take my kids to the Dr. I usually let their little bodies work it out-however Luke has been in some pain and I am not sure what the deal is. So our family doc examined him said it was colic and he would grow out of it. Thanks for that. He said to call if it gets worse. I don't think it could get any worse. Anyhow I called Riley to get an appt with a gastroenterologist and the first appt was in June-ugh. But my friend Susan at Methodist helped (without me even having to ask) and got an appt for Luke moved to March. Now thems good people!

i hope Luke can be helped-and that I am not crazy and that Luke is ok. He is a pretty mild mannered baby for as much as he must be hurting. Today he just cried and cried in my arms. Poor thing. I dosed him with my contraband zantac and gave him some tylenol so he is sleeping. He had a bad cough about two weeks ago so I had been giving him tylenol as his throat was hurting. I realized at that time when he was getting tylenol that he was sleeping (a lot). It dawned on me that he is not sleeping because he is hurting. Poor guy.

I think he has reflux-though he has not had trouble gaining weight. He doesn't feed right, he always seems hungry but won't feed for longer than five minutes. Needs to burp then spits up often vomits and then wants to eat again. He also will not lay on his back very often. certainly not to sleep. He likes to be held with lots of pressure on his belly and will generally only sleep in an upright position.

More concerning to me is what I can only call night terrors-though they happen during the day too and sometimes cycle on and on. Dunno-I feel a little bit like I should just suck it up and deal with it-but want to get him some relief if at all possible. Ugh!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c20GwqvyuuY

My Baby

2010-02-21T20:48:00.000-06:00

I sit here on the day of my birth with the best present draped over my lap. He is clad in a blue and white snuggly fleece sleeper with animal feet peering up at me. To cute. And not altogether to common as this little one does not often sleep. He goes to the dr tomorrow to find out what the problem is.

My birthday has been fabulous. Full of good friends, surprises, and kind words. I couldn't of asked for more.

2010-02-04T22:11:00.000-06:00

Life With Three

2010-02-04T14:39:00.001-06:00

Shortly before learning that I was pregnant with Luke-Paul and I had decided we would stick to two kids. In a former life one of my favorite sayings was-If you want God to laugh make plans. So we are three months into life with three kids and I've got to tell you-I find it pretty challenging. Not intellectually so-there not much brain power involved. But it does seem to be a bit of an endurance test.

My day today has gone something like this. Wake up (not sure that I really slept but you gotta start somewhere) change and dress Luke. Change and dress Joseph. Ask Molly to get herself dressed-Get dressed myself bonus points for clean clothes and teeth brushing. TELL Molly to get dressed. Feed them all something. Change Luke again, change Joseph again. Take Joseph to Preschool which involves a diaper bag somewhere and getting three kids in and out of the car. Return home from preschool with three kids as when you got to preschool the kid seemed too sick to go and was protesting to much-even though said kid was doing moderately fine when you left the house 15 minutes prior. Feed kids something for lunch. Beg Joseph to stop throwing all of your belongings down the stairs. Look for brush for Molly's hair. Listen to Luke cry while still looking for brush for Molly's hair. Putting three kids-with or without socks and shoes into the car again to take Molly to school which involves yet another backpack and a note to the teacher. Drop Molly off come home and get Luke to sleep (this never happens-I don't know what I did to deserve Luke sleeping today but if only I could repeat it) Get Joseph to sleep which includes cold medicine and rocking him. Clean up ever so slightly and then get Molly off of the bus.

That is a pretty typical day from 7AM-3:30 PM minus the two sleeping kids. I'd type more but the keybord tapping is waking up Luke and Molly's bus is coming around the corner.

Six Years

2010-01-21T21:46:00.001-06:00

Molly will be six on March 9th. She wants a Pink Pirate Party. She also wants to invite all of her friends. Do you know how many friends Molly has? She has old friends and by old I mean she has a 5 plus year history of friends her own age and then she has old friends as in age 40 plus who she considers friends. Then she has new friends from school. Then she has friends who are her friends in addition to being the children of her mom and dad. Sigh. What to do-I suppose just suck it up and invite all of her friends as I do not see any way around it. Six years old-I don't know where the time went. In the flash of an eye my best girl is six years old.

Anyhow-six years is also the number of years that my dad has been dead. What shitty timing. Six weeks prior to my first child's birth and on my niece Jessica's birthday. (See it really is all about me). The phone rang at 5:45 this morning. It scared the holy heck out of me. I thought someone would be on the other end telling me to get to the hospital to witness yet again the another swift tragedy. Instead it was a robocall from the school superintendent informing us of a school delay. I miss him and wish he were here to say Happy Birthday-to my niece today and to my daughter on March 9. Six years has been an eternity.

Death is Nothing at All

I have only slipped away into the next room.I am I, and you are you,Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.Laugh as we always laughedAt the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.Let it be spoken without an effort,Without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.It is the same as it ever was.There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval,Somewhere very near,Just round the corner.

All is well.

-- Henry Scott Holland

Happy Birthday Sheila

2010-01-04T19:00:00.000-06:00

We love you!

YIR-Pictures

2009-12-31T12:25:00.001-06:00

2009-12-31T12:06:00.001-06:00

Year in Review

We began the year with a trip to Disney World in Feb. We had a great time and did not know at the time I was pregnant with our third child.

Molly celebrated her 5th birthday in style with a Nemo cake. She had a preschool birthday party with two other classmates. I was not feeling well at the time due to morning sickness and fatigue.

Spring brought another season of soccer and a ballet recital for Molly. Molly and I enjoyed the weather warming up and going frog hunting near our neighborhood ponds. We attended the Indy 500 parade and Paul went to the race with some friends. I completed the mini marathon for the first time since Molly was born.

Summer brought about daily trips to the neighborhood pool.
In late summer Molly started Kindergarten-her teacher is Mrs. Herbst-she loves Kindergarten and has made many new friends.

Fall came and so did another Halloween birthday party for Joseph who turned 2. We did it Lightning McQueen style as Joe has an obsession with the Disney/Pixar movie cars. We also enjoyed having season tickets for the Indianapolis Colts this year. They are nosebleed seats but we don't care. It is a bit of a feat to get to our seats-sometimes involving supplemental oxygen.

November brought us a new baby boy-Luke. I'm pretty sure Joe thinks Luke is a pet that will be leaving at some point and Molly is a doting mother hen to him.

We celebrated Thanksgiving by going to the Conrad in Indpls for lunch.

In December Molly lost her first tooth. One of the front bottom teeth. The tooth fairy gave her a silver dollar that had been in her Grandma Jefferson's coin collection.

Christmastime brought about many celebrations including my own with my friends Sheila, Lisa, and Marilyn. We toasted Paul's new Partnership at the B&T Holiday party. Christmas eve brought the Holton's to our house. We had dinner on Christmas night with the Einterz family who were kind enough to extend us an invitation. Post Christmas brought all 20 of the Tucker's together for an overnight or two. What a great Christmastime we had.

New Years Eve will be spent with the Cohen's in kid friendly fashion though I doubt we will all make it to midnight. I will undoubtedly be up with Luke as he like to retire around 12:30 or one.
I don't dare look back at my resolutions from last year as I am sure they have gone unfulfilled and with the birth of another kid are not obtainable this year but maybe next year!

For the six people who read this blog I wish you the best the new year has to offer and leave you with my most favorite of Irish Blessings

May those who know us
Love us.
If they do not love us
May God turn their hearts
If he cannot turn their hearts
May he turn their ankles
So we might know them by their limping.

Blessed Be!-Laura

2009-12-31T11:48:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T19:39:00.002-06:00

Luke Francis

2009-11-10T08:20:00.003-06:00

Luke was born on 11/5/09 at 2:35PM. I went into labor at 1AM with very mild contractions until 5 AM when contractions stopped. At 11:15 my water broke so we went to the hospital, knowing that my labor would get very intense-very soon.I was 6-7 cm when I arrived. Went to L&D and was 9 cm when the resident checked. The contractions through transition were very difficult but still manageable. There was at the end no difference for me between regular labor contractions and pushing contractions. Luke was born while I was standing up at bedside much like Joseph was born. He descended very quickly and had a nuchal cord (cord around his neck) so he was whisked away to the warmer and in the hands of special care nursery staff. He was very blue like the color of denim. He received some oxygen and pinked up pretty quickly and was handed back to me. He has had no problems since that point.

Anticipation

2009-10-20T20:23:00.002-05:00

Lots of anticipation here for new baby coming on or before Nov 7. New baby still does not have a definititve name but I am ok with that. I am just weathering my way through these last few days/weeks of my last pregnancy. Hoping that birth will be easy or at least not traumatic. Though I feel as though I have no control over any of that.

Being pregnant is not so joyful at the end. I cannot wait to hold this baby-and to be a family of five. I see Molly and Joseph together and can't wait to add to that mix. But I am feeling pretty miserable. Though I have not gained a crazy amount of weight it is too much for this frame to handle. My saving grace is that the symptoms have come later and less severe than with Joseph's pregnancy. The odd thing for me about all of this is that it is difficult for me to see past. Even though I know there is nothing I can do to get rid of the symptoms (besides deliver a baby) I still feel sort of like I should be doing something/anything to make me feel better/look better/sleep better.

I know I will feel so much better when I am no longer pregnant and down to a manageable size. I am hoping to be able to find a groove after new baby comes but realize that likely my life will just be on hold for a couple of years. Enough about me.

In other news, Joseph started preschool last week. He is unsure about it but doesn't cry and has seemed to enjoy his time there. He is going to the same school Molly was at that we love love love. I wouldn't have sent Molly to preschool at 2 but Joe is such a different little kid than Molly was at this age. I think it will be nice for him to have his own time with new baby coming AND Molly is enjoying our girl time in the morning. Molly is an expensive date.

So much more to report but the rest will have to wait.

Fall is coming!

2009-09-10T21:30:00.002-05:00

Just a few more weeks until it is officially Fall. I have been derelict in my duty to say the least of taking pictures and even worse at downloading the few I have taken. I am trying very hard not to admit defeat in this my third and final pregnancy. I am not yet conquered however I will say that I have let a lot of things slide to the back burner or even off of the stove entirely.

Our schedule has been pretty odd around here lately. I have been sleeping poorly so it has taken a bit of doing to get out of the house early enough to do things with Molly and Joe prior to getting back to Zville for school at 1. There has been way too much tv time and mario Kart time around here. This will subside I am sure in the spring when nameless babe is out of me and well into the 5/6 month period.

Today was fairly productive in spite of all of the above mentioned. Molly played a little Mario Kart but then came downstairs and asked if she hurried up and took a shower and got dressed could we do something fun. This was at 8AM so I was reasonably sure that she was motivated to get out and do something. We ended up going to Stuckey's Farm in Sheridan, IN.

We picked bi-color corn and several varieties of apples. Here is where my dereliction of duty comes in. I did not take one single picture of the event. I did not bring the camera. SO sad. Joseph looked so cute eating an apple with the apple juice dripping down his chin-sigh. And how will I prove to him that I took him to the orchard? Oh well-he'll just have to take my word for it.

We had a good time-even though as always we were pressed for time. Corn, Apples, Candy Corn, Mums, Gourds and a peeler/corer for 28 bucks. I love orchard shops and could have spent a hundred more dollars if I had the gumption, free hands, and time to do so. Luckily we'll have to go back for pumpkins at some point.

I can't wait.

1st Day Of Kindergarten

2009-08-17T13:09:00.005-05:00

Molly's first day of Kindergarten is today. She woke up this morning and played a little Mario Kart and then we went to the pool for a short while. Then it was time to come home, eat lunch, and get dressed and ride her bike to school. She did a great job and was not at all hesitant about getting in line and leaving us behind.

Paul worked at home this morning so he could walk her to school. Molly's school gave her a shirt to wear today. She was momentarily peeved about this because she had picked out a purple shirt to wear-but happy to learn that she can wear it next week for purple day. When she returns home from school I will report more.

So Molly reports that school is bored (boring). I assume they are catching up on all of the stuff she already knows. She does not like to sit at desks. Is happy for art time and play time. AND evidently asked the principal how her dog died- I can only assume this was during a welcome session and the pricipal asked if there were questions without qualifying what were appropriate questions- sigh!

Good Things Come

2009-08-08T09:24:00.002-05:00

I am amazed sometimes at the serendipitous moments in life. The small things that keep you going. The little things that restore your faith in humanity.

Yesterday Molly and Joseph and I were at the airport early to pick up my niece Jessica. We were waiting inside and it was morning time. Molly did not eat breakfast because she gets car sick and even when offered-she usually will not eat if she knows we are getting in the car SO she was both hungry AND utilizing the opportunity her condition offers her to pimp for items from the snack machine. She was not in anyway being obnoxious or fitful. She simply noticed that the man filling the machine was finished. She stated as said man walked by "Mom he is finished filling the machine can we go look at the snacks". I told her I did not have any money (meaning cash). Just as I said that the snack guy stopped his hand cart and pulled out snacks for Molly and Joseph-asked if they could have them.

How kind that was of him. Molly took the snacks-said thank you politely and promptly gave them to Joseph as she did not care for the variety he handed her.

How lucky these kids of mine are. They seem often to be in the right place at the right time. So to the airport snack machine filler (insert song and voice of cheesy beer commercial dude) Thank You for making life a little nicer.

Sweet

2009-08-03T10:55:00.002-05:00

This Sunday brought us to Lake Sweetwater down near Edinburgh, Indiana. We went to the lake house of Paul's good friend who is also a client. Sundays weather was gorgeous. It was just hot enough for Molly to get into the lake for her first tubing adventure. She had some help from her newfound friend Samantha. Lucky girl. I know for certain I didn't get tube or ski on anything until my early teens. It was a nice time and a great day with family!

S'UP

2009-08-01T14:35:00.001-05:00

Well Let's See.

I am 26 or so weeks pregnant with a nameless baby. Summer here in Central Indiana has been very odd. It has been hot when I wanted it to be cold and cold when I've wanted it to be hot.

Molly marches closer and closer to being a kindergartner each day. She starts PM kdg in mid August. We have had a fairly boring uneventful summer. Molly attended zoo camp with her friend Mallory and finished up with summer preschool. There have been trips to the Children's Museum, The Dunes and beach to see friends, the blueberry farm and King's Island. Our lives have been busy while at the same time pretty monotonous too.

Frolicking in French Lick

2009-06-24T21:56:00.002-05:00

We headed to French Lick for the Bench Bar Conference and a little rest and relaxation without the kiddos. Ellen and Sean picked up Joe and Molly in French Lick on Fri AM. Paul was in his conference until 5PM so I found myself for the first time in a long time. With nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to see. Kind of crazy. But a welcome crazy! This was the first time Joe has spent the night away from us so I was a bit nervous. Anyhow we had a great time. We slept in late and spent time by the pool. Mostly we didn't change any diapers or worry about putting any kids to bed or arrange any play dates :o) So that was all very nice. Oh and Paul won a TV as a door prize. Now this is ironic because a year ago we could have used it-and it will be put to good use in Paul's home office BUT we really are pretty stocked up on TV's around here.

Sunday was Father's Day so we headed to Newburgh to hang out with my sister and niece and nephews, swim with the kiddos and then we went home.

It was a nice weekend. Molly came home with some treasures. One woman's discards are another girls treasures. I threw most of it away while she was sleeping but did allow her to keep several items though sadly said items did not include somebody else's greeting cards!

So back to preschool and all of that. Joseph was pretty sick today with a high fever that left him languishing in my arms and on my lap all day. Poor babe. Hopefully he will feel better tomorrow. Makes you happy and blessed for relatively healthy kids. Anyhow I have digressed beyond any semblance of tying it all together so.......

Summer

2009-06-18T23:01:00.002-05:00

Well it isn't even technically summer yet but it is 11 PM and 89 degrees so I'm going to proceed with the post as titled above.

So far we have had good times here this summer.

Molly finished up pre-school and took a week of relaxing and then attended a day camp at IUPUI where she was outside all day learning to play tennis and basketball and had swim lessons everyday. While it was not her favorite-she did not hesitate about going. Another lazy week off and then back to pre-school on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a little while. She loves school and was happy to return if even for a short while to see friends and draw and create.

We are not taking ourselves too seriously these days. Molly strict 8 PM bed time has been eased to 9PM (If she behaves) and she has even stayed up later for some frog observation. I am sure we will have a late evening for firefly catching too. Molly caught a juvenile frog and promptly named it Emily. She wanted to keep it but we have no tank AND it still had some of its tail left so she was convinced to release it and let "Emily" grow up. Prior to the release she observed the frog in the sink for awhile (We have a fairly deep kitchen sink) and then walked froggy down to the pond, kissed her, and then promptly threw her in as far a five year old can fling a frog. Ahh that is the stuff that summer is made of.

We have taken in an Indians game-courtesy of Barnes and Thornburg (Insert ever changing catchy phrase such as give us the problem or midwestern values global perspective-I have no idea what it is now after the Atlanta office opened) Anyhow that was fun and we made it through seven innings. Molly was happy to spend time with her friend Alexis and eat Alexis' cotton candy. Joseph of all thing wanted to watch the baseball game-unless he could push the stroller around-or eat cotton candy. There's a thing with spun sugar and the Jefferson kiddos.

Anyway-So far so good. I am 20 weeks pregnant and the babe is moving now quite often. I treasure the distance between this babe and Molly as Molly is already a big help. I can't help but mourn the fact that Joseph still seems to be my "baby" even though he is hell on wheels (what with the new tricycle purchase). Joseph will not have the luxury Molly had in that I imagine he will to some degree be put out or feel replaced-sigh. He is such a clever, snuggly, buddy and I hope it will all work out for him. (I know we''ll find a way)

Paul surprised me and got tickets for Wicked. A show I have been wanting to see for years but haven't. He made dinner reservation and got a babysitter and a back up babysitter just in case. I loved the experience of it and pine for the time that we can do things like that with any regularity. It was a very kind and romantic gesture and one I most appreciated.

That is the scoop and the first installment of our summer activites-Froggy pix to be posted soon. Tomorrow we are off to French Lick for the weekend. My sister will have Molly and Joe for the weekend and Paul has a conference in French Lick IN so I plan to be pool side or nap side or golf side or prenatal massage side or casino side for the weekend.

Here's looking forward to the true start of summer! So far so good.

2009-05-23T20:00:00.002-05:00

500 Parade Balloons

2009-05-23T19:49:00.002-05:00

Ballet 08/09 Village Dance Studio

2009-05-20T09:46:00.006-05:00

Molly was a Garden Fairy at her ballet recital-No Photos or video were allowed during the performance but I took this at the dress rehearsal. I love my little garden fairy. She had a great year of dance at The Village Dance Studio. It helps that the studio is practically in spitting distance from our house. As is soccer and her future grade school and middle school.

2009-05-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

16-17 Weeks

2009-05-20T00:03:00.002-05:00

That is what my OB thinks I am. SO almost half way there :)

I had my appointment yesterday. Funny thing is I have barely gotten to talk to Paul about it yet. Paul was nice enough to pick Molly and Joseph and our friend Abbie up from school. He took the kids home and I went to my appointment. When I got home he went right back to work. Then we had Molly's soccer game-Lobster dinner-frog hunting and bed for me. Paul stayed up to visit with his uncle Bruce who had been visiting since Friday. Ultrasound in two weeks to do anatomy scan and gender ID (hopefully). I am feeling just fine. No more sickness, not as much fatigue, and no more bronchitis-YAY for me.

In other news....Tonight we went to the ELton John-Billy Joel concert-which was superb with our friends Marilyn and Mark was nice to spend time together. However PJ went back to the office after the concert. He must be perpetually tired.

Boys

2009-05-15T09:33:00.002-05:00

When I was pregnant with Joseph-before the 20 week ultrasound- I was fully expecting he was a girl. I had it in my head for many reasons-that a girl would be nicer, easier and I was just expecting to have another girl. Joseph is a BOY and he is all boy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now Joseph did not sleep like Molly did as an infant-he required a lot of effort to sleep-like my head 18 inches from his head. I don't think he would sleep in his bassinet until 8 weeks old. He took a lot of cajoling and was mildly more fussy than Molly. Probably because unlike Molly-he was not filled with copious amounts of narcotics from his birth. Who says narcotics are bad for baby.(I'm just kidding). However-Joseph will now take a nap-in his crib-everyday-without fail. (unlike Molly). Joseph will play with toys and play by himself for five minutes (unlike Molly) Joseph was weaned at 17 months (unlike Molly). All of this has made life with Joseph a joy.

I'm fairly certain my mother did not like boys or even men for that matter. How sad to not be able to see the joy of running, tumbling exploring bliss in front of your eyes. I think prior to Joseph's birth that I would not have liked "my boy" or could not see through to be the same mom to a boy that I was to Molly. Well I know now that that is all crap. I cannot imagine life without a boy and especially without Joseph. He is a wonder to behold and for all the ways he is different from Molly I am in wonder and love him so.

Joe is a lot more active at this age than Molly ever was. For instance-he began walking at 10 months and has not slowed down since that time. Joseph's pediatrician is fairly sure that he has a left frontal skull fracture. Molly has made it five years with no broken bones. Joseph at 18 months managed to secure the grandaddy of them all. If we can just make it to age 5 with Joseph I think he might survive.

BUSIER THAN USUAL3w3q

2009-05-13T11:51:00.004-05:00

Not a good thing when you are usually busy to begin with. I have checked the first few weeks of August off because Molly will start Kindergarten and we are going to do Nothing. AND I mean it. Swim in the pool and eat cheeseburgers on the patio-and let my kids be kids :o)

These past months have been a whirlwind. I have had a whole week that has been puke free. Now that I can stay up past 8PM and get up with out struggling through the day life is much better. I have always been the type that realizes-after I am feeling better-just how sick I really was. Enough about that.

These past months we have kept a crazy pace with preschool and ballet and soccer for Molly and trying to be fair to Joe to make sure he gets a nap in his bed at home. Add to this Paul's crazy work hours (and his juggling to help out with soccer practice, games, ballet dress rehearsal, ballet recital, preschool breakfasts and picnics and OB appointments for me).

Most of it ends on May 30 though. Ballet Soccer Preschool. I am so glad I did not put Molly in swim lessons this spring!

Molly will have a six week option for summer preschool and has two day camps but other than that it should be pretty relaxing.

Random

2009-05-11T21:02:00.002-05:00

Today in the car the person in front of me was driving 20 miles below the speed limit. I thought I was going to get rear ended by the person behind me going 20 miles over the speed limit. I said something to the effect of=Please drive you asshole before I get killed. Molly from the back seat say "Mom, Santa Clause can hear you". Too funny. She also says deaded instead of killed. She is growing so quickly.

Joseph is beginning to talk. He walks around the house most days calling out "Paul". He repeats many words that you say. Loves to give high fives and knuckles. He is too cute. We will be lucky if we make it through one more week without a visit to the ER. Joe is crazy fast and all boy and has a knack for bumping his head into things.

2009 Mini-Marathon

2009-05-09T08:09:00.002-05:00

I had been training (that might be stretching it a bit) for the mini marathon since late Feb/March not knowing if I would truly start the mini. On March 16 I found out I was pregnant with our third and had quite a bit of trouble with exhaustion and all the other fun things that go with being pregnant. Except that really by number three they have lost their charm. Anyhoo. I did run the mini marathon about a week ago-and have finally recovered and I had a really good time running/walking it. There have been points in the last several years where I have felt betrayed by my body and could not fathom ever running the mini again-so this year I was just happy to be back.

Folks have so many different reasons for running and racing. Some readily apparent and named on the t-shirts or gear they have donned. Others with a quietness that nobody else can contemplate. Me- I was happy to be back out there after a long hiatus. I had not run the mini since 2003 (the year before Molly was born and the year before my dad died). I would not say that I run the mini for any cause save for my own. I foolishly think if I can run the mini than I am not in too bad of shape. Not the best line of thinking but there it is. Running longer distances brings out some interesting folks. The Indy mini is actually fun because there is entertainment all along the route. In Indy we do not have mountains, or oceans, or meadows, to run by-so we make due with cloggers, and musicians (some good some bad), preachers, yard sales, and ever present kids who have their hands out to give high fives. There are folks with college flags and people cheering on loved ones who are running for all sorts of reasons all along the route.

It is a long time to be running (if you are as slow as I am it is even longer). I ran it by myself this year along with my trusty iPod (I know I am a cheater). Seems to me I was lost in the music for the most part. My good friend Amanda cheered me on at mile 2 (much appreciated) and it was smooth sailing until I got to that God awful track. I have a love/hate relationship with the IMS track during the mini. I am glad to have gotten there but it seems to go on FOREVER. But it is awesome to be there-to open up May in Indy by running on the track and to cross the yard of bricks, search out where our 500 seats are and usually when I am on the track the Kenyans are finishing the race so you can see it on the big screens. Then it is drudgery until you haul it in until the finish line. I walked mile 10-12 1/2 had some breakfast consisting of two LUNA bars my beloved had bought for me the night before when he went out to get bagels for friends Amanda and Ryan who were spending the night. (HE IS A GOOD GOOD MAN). After breakfast I jogged it in and logged a time of 2 hours and thirty nine minutes. Though the clock reads 2:56 (It takes that long to get to the starting line but thankfully they give you a timing chip so you know your real time)

It was s a good day and I was greeted by my little fans Joseph and Molly at the end SWEET.

2009-05-07T13:47:00.000-05:00

I think it rather clever of the turtle

2009-04-20T18:32:00.002-05:00

Paul and I are expecting our third child in the Fall. We weren't expecting to be expecting it but he or she will be no less loved. We had been debating between two or three children so safe to say our minds are now made up. Not that we do not understand the mechanics of procreating-but for Molly and Joseph we struggled quite a bit to get pregnant so this one-with its ease-was suprising.

Anyhow-this would explain the lack of posting lately-I have not been feeling too good. But seem to be coming out of it. Now I feel OK. Just OK-oh and fat-but that is how it goes. Hopefully the blogging-along with all else will pick up now that I am not totally exhausted and experience the other lovely symptoms of the first trimester. I have no real clue how far along I am save to say I am probably within a week one way or the other of the second trimester. Dunno-I'll find out on May 4th.

Remembering Blessed Sacrament School

2009-04-18T21:37:00.002-05:00

My mother-Geraldine Alice was a 6th grade/English Teacher at Blessed Sacrament School. I attended school there from 2nd-8th grade.

In a sense I grew up there. I spent most of my waking hours there. Attending school, church, waiting on my sisters and mom to finish up whatever it was on any given day they were doing. Hours spent after school running track, cross country, playing kickball volleyball. Competing in spelling bees and scrabble tournaments.

Trying to stay out of trouble. It wasn't all roses. In the end-attending the same school your mother teaches at can be a path fraught with peril. And sometimes it was. Not to much fun when your mom is your teacher and all of her friends are you teachers-however-there were some very good lessons I learned from the hallowed halls of that fine institution.

And some fond memories that could only be understood by my fellow Bronco Alumni. Such as that of:

First Fridays

Baked Macaroni and Cheese Smell in the cafeteria

Mrs. Tompi, Mrs. Gora, and Mrs. Rettig

Dish Duty

Those red gowns for the readers at mass

Mass every single day

Being young and swarming upon Father Lou with Great Big Hugs

Father Lou and his "pet" Monkey

Singing in the choir loft with Helen

Singing in the choir loft with Frances

Monsignor John

Sr.'s Colette, Elaine and Deofelia

Sports Banquets

Talent Shows

The Higgin's and Kopil's and Bodo's and Schneider's and countless other families to grace its presence.

May Crownings (Bring flowers of the fairest)

Miss Kostelnik, Mrs. Popiela, Mr. Topp, Mrs. Frank

And in my final year Sr. Celine and Mrs Carnahan

If I think a little while I can remember the smells that sometimes permeated that building. A sweet wooden smell from pews and kneelers. The smell of incense from a Holy Day or from a funeral. This was a church built by families. A church where everybody knew everyone. My sisters were married here. My niece baptized. My classmates mother eulogized.

I have not been back to Blessed Sacrament for ten years. Tomorrow I will go-with an aching in my heart. One more tie to my parents, to whatever legacy my mother may have left behind severed. It is a reminder to me of how you have to take the good with the bad and reflect back to realize that the good was really good. Most of the places from my childhood are holes in a tapestry. There once was something there but now there is nothing to go back to because there is no where to go back to. Such is the way it is when your parents die and you have lived somewhere else for most of your adult life. When you are young you think things will always be constant. There will always be a homecoming-a place where you can be absent for ten years yet folks still know who you are when you come back. With the closing of my alma mater and now the church attached to it there is one more little hole in my tapestry. And one less place to come back to.

It is said that its closing is a sign of the times. Whatever that truly means. I understand the gist of this statement but it pisses me off to no end to hear it. Perhaps it is all a little too personal to me. Blessed Sacrament will have its last mass tomorrow before it closes as a Catholic Church. I imagine it will reopen as something else. It has too great a spirit and too splendid of marble floors and beautifully wood paneled walls to sit empty for too long. A sad day for me and my fellow Broncos.

Good Golly Miss Molly

2009-03-10T21:30:00.007-05:00

Molly turned 5 yesterday. I absolutely cannot believe it. Ok ok I can. She had a good day I think.

Started out a bit rough because I was on call the night before and operating at a sleep deficit-I was sour to Paul in the AM but successfully pulled myself out of it quickly. Pheww-the very last thing I want to do is hurt my children's chances of having a good day on the day of their birth.

We met her preschool friend Sam at Marsh to pick out birthday doughnuts for class (it was Sam's birthday too). Molly had a breakfast doughnut and so did Joseph and then off to school. Molly was greeted with Happy Birthdays from her teacher Mrs. MacGregor and from many of her other friends.

After I dropped Molly off I set out to find items for an impromptu Finding Nemo birthday cake. PAUL PLEASE TAKE NOTE. DO NOT show your children the picture of a cake on the internet unless you are going to find said cake items and bake cake for said birthday child. EVEN IF your wife might have mentioned something vaguely along these lines. So I went to Michael's and pieced together a very blue-very Nemo cake with which Molly was pleased.

I picked Molly up from preschool with plans to take her to see Paul. She asked if her dad could come home early from work not knowing it had already been planned. So we went to Barnes and saw Marcia and Linda (both of whom spoiled her rotten) and then left for hot chocolate. We were going to do a carriage ride but none of them were on the circle-and we did not mention this to Molly so-no harm. Molly was pleased that she could spend the rest of the day with Paul and Joe and I.

We got home and Joe took a nap and Paul and Molly played outside. For dinner we went to the Dinner Store-Puerta Vallarta-Joe was a little Hellion but Molly had a great time and got to wear a sombrero and be sung to-I was mortified. Oh the lengths you will go to for your babies.

Once home we had cake and presents and bed. It was a very good day! Molly received many birthday wishes, cards, call, and gifts. She was grateful for each and every one of them. We are so lucky to have Molly and so lucky to have folks who love her.

Good Lord

2009-03-07T19:49:00.003-06:00

It has been awhile. Well the last three days in Central Indiana have been GLORIOUS. So I have tried to spend time outside. You never know if it will be 74 degrees like it was today or 34 degrees so you have to take it when it comes.

The fam retruned from a 9 day vacation last Sunday. We went to Disney World and to the beach. I celebrated my thirty fifth birthday and had lots of time with Paul, Molly, and Joe. The trip went smoothly overall and was both exciting, tiresome, and relaxing. Pictures will be posted soon.

With the Spring temperatures I am hopeful that spring and sunshine are right around the corner. The winter gives me fits and it get worse as I get older.

Lessee what else. Molly turns 5 on Monday (unbelievable). Joseph is a total boy and a ham for anybody he isn't afraid of. And Paul-well-Paul is Paul.

I am still struggling with my FB addiction. I know some folks have given up FB for lent- I gave up lent for lent.

That's about it. I'll post a little more about Disney when I put the pictures up.

Befuddled

2009-01-29T08:05:00.003-06:00

I have been in the giant timesuck that is Facebook and therefore have been suffering like a crack addict. I am a mess, my house is in shambles and my children have watched way too much tv. So for today I am swearing off facebook. But only for today-one day at a time. My friend Christina is in the hospital to have her third baby. He (the baby) will likely be the strongest sucker on earth for a myriad of reasons. Anyhow these are all random thoughts passing through my head that I thought I would blog about for absolutely no apparent reason. Other than the other things I have in my head to blog about are not so nice and would probably piss at least one or two people off. SO there. I'll stick some pics up just for the hell of it. Please if your not on facebook-get on facebook and be my friend-that way I will have more friends than Paul on FB.

Joby

2009-01-09T21:48:00.003-06:00

Joe is growing. There's no denying it. And I'm biased but he is sooo freaking cute. And he is forever needing a haircut. For some reason though, I find it difficult to cut his fuzzy blond locks. Joe says four words Ma-Mi-babye-and Moy. Hard to discern but usually indicating his want for mama, goodbye-anything else, and Molly. Joe is very adept at getting his point across. He will grab your pant legs and twist and pull you to what he wants. Usually chocolate. I love it. Joe and Molly are finally playing together. Joe likes to grab onto the back of Molly's clothes while she walks quickly around in a circle-he fall they both laugh hysterically. I love it. His smile is quick, He's all boy-he's my boy! He's trouble to be sure.

Regarding the Former Mrs. Fair

2009-01-07T11:21:00.004-06:00

I wonder why people use faith and religion to divide. Countries, cities, relationships. I am talking less about Israel/Gaza then I am about my own life with family and friends. I feel badly when thoughts impact relationships in such an integral way. Should it matter what I believe? Should it make you love me any less? Or be disappointed in me not for my actions but for my failure to believe your way? Should my thoughts and beliefs overflow to the judgement and oppression of others? Evolution/dinosaurs/homosexuals? Do my thoughts about these things have any effect on what will happen in my life. I really don't think so. You are born, you live life, you give birth, you live life some more, those you have birthed give birth, you live life and then you die. I don't quite understand the frustration people have with other peoples thoughts and beliefs. I do understand the frustration people have with people persecuting others for their beliefs. Not to mention the hypocrisy of those judgement and persecutions. Hmm that's all for now.

Resolutions

2008-12-31T09:13:00.004-06:00

They are called resolutions on Jan 1 and goals the rest of the year. Hmmf. My resolutions this year are many. I once had a conversation with my friend Amanda about goals and writing them out-something about how your more apt to complete your goals if you write them out? My friend Mary says she is not one for resolutions but more loosely (and I am taking some liberty here) associated ideas for 2009. Me I need to be concrete. I have all of these ideas swimming around in my head lately about the person I could, should, want to be.

Most recently I have been confronted round the bout regarding my spiteful mean attitude and cutting humor. I am sure it comes accross that way to some people. And surely my way of coping is to talk things through until I can grasp them and then let them go or act on them. My resolutions this year are about ME. Not to be selfish but I need some work. I'll try to be nicer but in the same turn I can't help being the person I am. Which is different than your typical.........(insert noun-(mom, social worker, wife, friend, sister) etc.

1> I need to take a little better care of myself. I have been plagued by some weird infections (mostly superficial save for one) since September. These appear to be resolved but I need to make sure to stay healthy. There are some other ways I need to do this also. I need some time alone every week and I need to make that happen-pronto (and this does not include evenings t 8:30 when I have put the kids to bed).

2> I need to lose about ten more pounds. That will bring my weight down to a respectable (albeit tad bit chubby) 130 pounds. That is what I weighed when I graduated from High School. I haven't grown any taller since eighth grade so that makes it difficult for me to maintain any kind of slender so I'll just shoot for healthy and muscular. This means weaning Joseph (which is fine by me) and exercising (boo hiss),

3> I need to get organized. Both at My new home, in my life with the kids and work and friends and become fiscally conservative.

4> And everything else assigned periodically to my goals.

Next up- a list of ways to achieve goals.

Amp's Last Stand

2008-12-29T22:42:00.000-06:00

Christmas Photos

2008-12-28T21:54:00.000-06:00